Horror Show

Posted on December 12, 2011

Horror ShowEveryone has moments they would deem as “cringeworthy”.  A cringe worthy moment sticks with you.  You try to forget and not think about it but without fail something will trigger the awkward moment to rise up in your brain and attack. As fast as it comes in you try to shake it out and leave it behind again.  Impossible to erase for good they haunt you.  A true cringe worthy moment does not have to be a seminal moment in ones life.  Often these moments are small instances that for some unknown reason stick like glue and when rediscovered cause the cringe to occur.  It seems for some a gateway to the cringe moment involves a lack of inhibitions.  Your guard is down at the office party after too much potent egg nog and you say the wrong thing, at the wrong, time, to the wrong person.  Sometimes you realize it right away and start down a horrible path of apologizing for the cringe factor you have introduced to the conversation.  But more often that not these cringeworthy remembrances occur in bed the next morning or over your first coffee of the day.  When the cringe hits that first time it stings.  You can almost feel it physically pinch your brain.  You wish you had a time machine to go back and right the wrong, but you know that will not be the case and so your have to begin the process of repression as much as you can.  Over time the cringe can lesson, and one way to speed this process is to have a little therapy session with others.  To discuss with people your worst cringeworthy moments can be both hysterical and relieving.  The only problem with this method is you run the risk of having your audience cringe worse than you upon hearing your tale, and say something like “no you did not”!!

I have had many cringeworthy moments for sure, but for some reason the one that keeps coming up in my head (which does not seem all that bad on the surface), has affected me the most.  It was freshman year of college.  I was attending a church service for a reason I cannot recall.  It was attended by most of the students of our class, some of which I knew, most I did not.  I was three rows from the front and sitting with a few of my friends.  We were located in the middle of the pew.  Then came the moment in the mass when the priest says “let us offer one another a sign of peace”.  At the church I grew up in this means shaking the hand of all the strangers within a reasonable distance and saying “peace be with you”.  After shaking hands with my friends next to me on my left, I turn to my right where I am sitting next to a group of three girls.  The girl furthest from me is moving past the other two girls and making her way towards me.  She opens her arms, looking for a hug.  While this is not customary in my home church I have seen it done at other churches when my family would be on vacation and we ended up at one of those free spirt guitar playing churches (not a fan).  So i think to myself in an instant: “OK, new church, new school, cute girl who wants to hug me, just do it stupid”.  As I spread my arms open and move in for the embrace I notice out of the corner of my eye a look of sheer horror and terror on her face.  At this exact moment I feel a hand on my back and it dawns on me.  She was trying to hug a girlfriend that was coming up behind me!  Unfortunately, I am so deep into this hug there is no way not to complete the action.  I spew out a quick “peace be with you” and back away.  Actually I was more pushed away than anything.  Her friend gets around me with a smirk on her face and gives the originally intended hug.  I have since turned away and feel a searing heat rise in my face.  My two friends have a “what the hell are you doing” look on their faces confirming the total awkwardness of the situation and validating my flushed look even further.  The last ten minutes of that mass felt like the remainder of the semester, and I walked out with a cringeworthy moment that has lasted twenty three years.

What spawned this topic was the dog and pony awkwardness that took place in Boston yesterday.  I wonder which one of these guys will put this moment in their cringeworthy file?  Its all downhill from here.

Bets of the Weekend

Steelers -6.5 vs. Bengals  Bet $210 to win $200

Cowboys -4.5 vs. Cardinals  Bet $210 to win $200

Lions +9 vs. Saints  Bet $210 to win $200

Just going with my guts on these.  I really feel almost silly giving any reason for betting anything right now. I am back to using my heart and not the head because its clearly not working.  I am going on first instinct going forward and letting it fly.

News & Notes

- Re-upped again….

- Played five games of Texas Hold’em last night with only five players.  Finished 3rd, 2nd, 1st, 5th, 1st.  Second place got buy in back and the rest to the winner.  I need to drop the sports betting.

- Recently recommended “I Melt With You” to a friend after only getting through half of it On Demand.  It’s about four friends on their annual guys weekend.  Then I watched the 2nd half and lets just say I did not see that coming!

Stats:

50/50Bets:Record Overall =  103-114-4
Win/Push Percentage = 48.41%

NFL Record Overall  (2011 Season) = 25-36-2

Monday Night Bets Record = 6-9

Best Bets = 16-13
Best Best Win Percentage = 55.17%

Kitty Total = $1,000.00

Sportsbook
Profit/Loss =  -($2.141.43)

Long Odds Bets

Record = 2-26

Money Invested = $710.00

Winnings = $1,300.00

Categories: sports-commentary


Leave a Reply